Debbie, UK
I have always had the fear of being in crowds until recently i have developed more fears such as; checking under my bed, checking my closet door, making sure the bathroom door is locked at all times and the window in the bathroom is closed. I check myself out before i go to sleep or shower because i feel as though i will have a sudden change in me after something. I have issues with sleeping. I have to have two pillows, if one is missing i can't sleep, i feel as though someone came and stole it. I also have the fear of changing sheets often ( i know it's horrible but i try my best to change it every 2 weeks) because i feel as though when i put new ones on, my scent is not there anymore and i feel paranoid as if its not my sheets. I always have to have my phone next to me. I get panicky within crowds (especially very loud crowds such as; at a football match or protesting etc) But when i am around my own friends i feel fine until i daydream and i become insecure and start shaking as if everyone is talking about me. I can never sleep with my foot out because i feel like something will pull me. I also hate how mirrors get steamed up after a long hot shower. I'm so glad i came across this website. Thank you.
Sarah, USA
I remember always being paranoid trough out my life but never new it was paranoia. My friends would tease me and say "your so paranoid". As I got older it became worse. In February of 2009 I had gone through several weeks of severe paranoia. I thought everyone at work was conspiring against me. I believed that law enforcement was plotting to set me up. I thought law enforcement used my neighbors to plant listening devices and cameras in my home. I even heard voices that I was being set up to be killed. I covered all the vents in my home with tape, took apart my television for fear there was a hidden camera inside and cut the wires of all my smoke detectors. Everywhere I went I believed I was being followed. If I tried to talk to anyone about it they didn't believe me. I isolated myself from everyone with great mistrust of them. The depression and fear became more than I could handle and I attempted suicide. I was found and lay in ICU for 3 days then a week long hospital stay. During my stay in the hospital my paranoia continued. I believed the hospital staff was conspiring to kill me by poisoning my food or putting poison in my IV as I slept. I escaped from the hospital on the 3rd day but was found and brought back and strapped to my bed. After my week stay when my liver was ok, I entered a medical unit Where I was finally diagnosed with Paranoid personality Disorder and Bipolar Type 1. Through treatment and understanding of my illness I am better today. Although I still have small episodes, I am learning to distinguish them from reality. Cognitive Thinking is a useful tool. There is no known cure but you can triumph over this difficult disease with the support of understanding friends and family and the willingness and determination to get well.
Lucas, UK
im at the beginning of this awful paranoia just goin through all these gr8 comments and tips me my self im still struggling i suppose its cause im dyslexic i struggle to understand some of these gr8 solutions. Its horrible having an ex trying to make things better and theres paranoia kicking in then me thinking she hating me and wanting to be with some one else when in fact thats probably not the case as u can tell im still so bad bad want to get rid of this good luck to anyone with this all these comments should help any one who thinks chatting to some one with same prob feel free to get in touch
Rick, USA
My whole life, (with few exceptions), has been quite traumatic in terms of interpersonal relationships and in particular relationship conflicts. Being perpetually on guard allows me to function at some level in society, where I can make 'risk assessments' of various situations and then choose how to react to people or situations, by the level of risk involved. So it becomes impossible to talk about being 'on guard' without identifying the different types of risk and danger, and also to talk about consequences of making any particular decision. The biggest risk factor for me, (for whatever reason, I don't know), has been the fear of ridicule. Ridicule, and the risk of ridicule is perhaps the most persuasive and terrifying worry that I have to confront and deal with on a daily basis. Most of the time I will do, (or say), whatever I need to do (or say) to avoid ridicule. This practice includes habitual lying, deceit, and concealment activities.Other areas of risk that I access include financial risks physical danger, risk of failure, and fears of losing the good things in my life that I already have, IE: comfort, security, mental faculties ect. Fear of death is not one of these concerns, although I hope my death will be quick and as pain free as possible as I dislike suffering. An example of some of the risk factors at any given time, including in this very room right now. You, as another person with free will, you could insult me, ridicule me, yell at me, physically assault me or even kill me should you choose to do so. Conversely, you could be compassionate, provide care and comfort, provide a sense of friendship and assist to alleviate some of my fears. So in making a risk assessment of you the assessment that I make of you determines how I will interact with you. This could be cautious, could be avoidant, could be joyful, and could be any number of other things that are dependant on the actual circumstances and my history of previous interactions with you. Personal risk is only one component of the risk 'premium' in the room however. Other factors may be other people, what are my relationships to them, how are they likely to react to me, ect. The more people present, the greater the risk of unknowns, the greater the dangers of unforeseen and unplanned for events taking place that I do not have control of, or that I have insufficient control of. As a result of forever being on guard and taking only calculated risks, I avoid crowds- the risk factors are too high, my personal control of events and circumstances are way, way too low. I consequently dislike activities like parties, music concerts, or even shopping in crowded stores for groceries. I even stress to my kids to 'spot the danger' to be ever vigilant to protect themselves. Another factor would be physical safety. Am I safe here in this room? The furniture is likely flammable and could, with a source of ignition ignite and cause physical injury to one or both of us. The furniture or other objects in the room if picked up and thrown could be considered weapons that could cause me physical harm. How stable and well built is the structure we are meeting in? Would the structure provide security from the weather, and natural disasters such as tornadoes, flash floods, or Earthquakes? Other risks include wiring problems, and resulting dangers of electrocution.
H, USA
It was quite scary because my mother had passed away when I was seven, and my father was physically abusive. When I had gotten older, similar like the Truman show, I thought these guys that I liked were following me around and that everyone could hear my thoughts, because these guys would say out loud the things I was thinking. I started to think everyone knew what I was thinking and were weirded out by me. I felt like the Truman show and started to feel paranoid about going outside or even being at home because I could not control my thoughts and believed everyone around me, knew what I was thinking. These guys were following me around, and I didn't know why. I wished they would leave me alone, and as I continued with my medication, the feeling of being followed, watched, or as if ppl can read my mind has decreased and diminished. Now I am healthier, but sometimes, I get a moment of doubt and question whether it was real. Things in my life happen, and usually I try to convince myself that I am just imagining my old suspicions, However, because of my past experiences of feeling like I was being followed, watched, and known by everyone, sometimes, I get scared when I think that it was or is really true. I have to constantly remind myself that it's my illness, because I am diagnosed with bipolar.