Katherine, Devon
I feel as if people that are close to me are trying to poison me, and every time I go to dinner there they are giving me more of the poison and soon it will kill me, I know they wouldn't do it but the feeling is strong that I feel as if they are I even feel dizzy whilst eating the food and thinking of the poison, I cant be at home on my own as I feel scared that a ghost, an object or a person is going to kill me, I feel as if the light bulb is going to launch itself at me or the tv is going to hurt me, I feel as if some one is going to break in to my place and stab me, I feel a horrible feeling in my back where I am going to be stabbed, I hear voices telling me I ain't worth nothing, they tell me people are going to die, I even feel very uncomfortable about writing that bit as the voices tell me not to, it is a deep male voice that I hear the most, it has been happening since I was little, I cant remember a age, I am 19 yrs old now, I cant have people touch me unless its my partner or my son, I get a horrible feeling even if people just touch my hand, I have to wash my hands lots of time to get rid of the feeling, I cant leave my food on the side as I think someone has been in and poisoned it or even something, I just chuck the lot away, I see things happen in my head e.g. I've got an image of 3 masked men standing in my living room ready to kill me I see that loads of times, and it is exactly the same picture, I see people gettin killed and myself getting killed I literally see it in my head as if it was real, I am trying to fight the voices as I am writing this it feels as if my brain is expanding and it is going to burst at any time, I am currently taking seroquil 50mgs, the physiatrist tried to say I have a personality disorder, but my cpn doesn't agree with it I am going to be seeing a different physiatrist and this time I have to tell him everything as I bottle a lot of stuff up as it is very hard for me to say as the voices tell me not to,...
Tiara, USA
I have had nightmares since I was 4. I remember every nightmare I have had. I am terrified of the dark. Even if the lights are on I am afraid that something will turn them off. I always feel like my doors are going to close by themselves. I feel like a presence is in the room with me at night. I hate being alone at night and often get panic attacks. I lock my doors over and over. Even if I know I already did, just the thought will send me to the door again. I am terrified of 3 am in the morning. I always wake up just a few minutes before 3 and panic.
Francine, USA
I have always been afraid/paranoid of being alone at home, the dark and many other things. Lately I have been constantly worrying that something bad is going to happen. When I am at home alone at night I jump at the sound of every noise and if I see something move like my shadow I think that it is someone and that may harm me. Lately, my fears are starting to become more intense and feel more realistic. However, I know that they are just in my head and that calms me down. It is hard for me to share this with my husband or anyone because I don't want them to think that I am crazy but I feel like I need help if a I want to live the rest of my life with inner peace especially now that I am a mother.
Justin, UK
I have a real problem with people phoning me. sometimes i'll be trying to relax after a hard day at work and my friends will ring me so I wont answer because i'm tired or busy, then they don't stop ringing me and carry on and I start to get anxious and I feel like their going to come to my house and like break in or say something I don't wanna hear, if I hear cars outside I worry that its my friends have rang my ex and has drove them down. I get to the point where I can't sleep and im up for hours worrying and telling myself that its not gonna happen and im just being stupid but it doesn't work. I worry about my friends, I feel like their going to slag me off and make things up about me. I feel like people are looking at me and judging me. I have days were I cant leave the house at all not even to see my friends, that's usually when I get anxious about my friends constantly ringing me. I've been diagnosed by my doctor as having moderately severe depression and every time I feel as though imp getting better or things are changing it just starts all over again its like it goes in cycles. Depression and mental illnesses run in my family so I guess I've got no chance!! I sometimes wonder if I really am depressed I don't feel good enough to be classed as depressed! I know that sounds stupid but I feel as though im just a mess and there's nothing more to it. I'm only 16 which is rubbish as the doctors won't prescribe me any antidepressants. I'm scared to post this in case people just look at it and think imp pathetic or that imp making it up, I feel such an idiot. I used to have a councillor but she didn't really do much. now I just want someone who I can talk to who will just listen and know what to do.
Sophia, USA
It is helpful reading all these posts. My problem is a little different in that I don't necessarily feel like people are watching me or talking about me behind my back. For me, the paranoia is a deep seated sense that they hate me. Everyone. Even my own husband and children, my family, my best friends. It is like the knowledge that they hate me is deeply etched in my psyche and I am constantly trying to convince myself it is not true. It gets so bad I feel like life is not worth trying and I want to hide. I am able to tell myself that this is a mental disability and that as powerful as the feeling is, I must not give in to it because it is not real.