I have a real problem with people phoning me. sometimes i’ll be trying to relax after a hard day at work and my friends will ring me so I wont answer because i’m tired or busy, then they don’t stop ringing me and carry on and I start to get anxious and I feel like their going to come to my house and like break in or say something I don’t wanna hear, if I hear cars outside I worry that its my friends have rang my ex and has drove them down. I get to the point where I can’t sleep and im up for hours worrying and telling myself that its not gonna happen and im just being stupid but it doesn’t work.

I worry about my friends, I feel like their going to slag me off and make things up about me.

I feel like people are looking at me and judging me.

I have days were I cant leave the house at all not even to see my friends, that’s usually when I get anxious about my friends constantly ringing me.

I’ve been diagnosed by my doctor as having moderately severe depression and every time I feel as though imp getting better or things are changing it just starts all over again its like it goes in cycles. Depression and mental illnesses run in my family so I guess I’ve got no chance!!

I sometimes wonder if I really am depressed I don’t feel good enough to be classed as depressed! I know that sounds stupid but I feel as though im just a mess and there’s nothing more to it. I’m only 16 which is rubbish as the doctors won’t prescribe me any antidepressants.

I’m scared to post this in case people just look at it and think imp pathetic or that imp making it up, I feel such an idiot. I used to have a councillor but she didn’t really do much. now I just want someone who I can talk to who will just listen and know what to do.