Elizabeth, USA
Ever since I was a child I have felt that people are staring at me or talking about me. I used to express it but now I never do, I keep it all to myself because I know it sounds crazy. I feel like people get in my way on purpose in stores or on the street, especially when there are only a few people around; why do they need to block me or be near me or move exactly when I move exactly where I want to move to' I feel like some people "know" who I am, like I am famous and they know that I am watched and bothered by some kind of external force, perhaps to measure my reactions, like an experiment. And these people that stare at me are stupid because they are letting me know I am special, and I am not supposed to know. I always think they are going to get in trouble for not being discreet. If I am not 100% perfect, at my job, at my home and in life, I get problems. I get fired for making one mistake when I spend months doing everything else right, or I park slightly off and get a ticket. I always go the speed limit, and one time I went a little fast and got a very expensive speeding ticket. If I am not perfect in every way I will get into "trouble" somehow. I spend a lot of time making sure everything I do is spot-on. When I slip up there is always someone to tell me or some penalty. I just wonder if you are paranoid but you KNOW it sounds crazy so you never tell anyone, are you really crazy'
Sarah, United States
I often have trouble sleeping at night because of paranoid thoughts. For me, paranoia has been a life-long struggle. It started as a child when I was terrified of the dark. I would imagine monsters at the window, or in the air vents. My two brothers did not make matters any better with their constant teasing and trying to scare me. As I got older, my fear of the dark did not go away, but I could get over it by singing, or sleeping with the television on. I remember having other paranoid thoughts like someone watching me in the mirror. I mean, someone actually behind the mirror, watching me. I would grab a towel and bolt past the mirror...or, even more embarrassing to admit, taunt the 'people' staring at me. Actually talk to them. Of course, the whole time I knew that in reality those mirror people weren't there, but there was always a conflicting part of my conscience that plagued my perception, and ultimately affected my behavior. The complex lessened with age until very recently. I had my first child, and, while I am no longer afraid of the mirror people, or the monsters in the dark, I am still unable to sleep for fear of my baby's well-being. This may sound common in new mothers, but given my background of skittish scaredey-cat patterns, it is conceivable that I have become a little delusional. I fight with myself every night to not let those thoughts materialize. But they eventually do. I envision strangers breaking in with weapons and threatening my child and myself, and my boyfriend being hurt and unable to help us. There are thousands of scenarios I have walked through before sleep. It usually takes an hour or two for me to finally go to sleep. But some nights, like tonight, the eerie feeling won't subside, and every noise alerts me to no end. If my baby wakes up at any time in the hour of 3am, I immediately become scared. This is "supposed" to be the demon's hour, or something like that, so it is hard for me to get up and go take care of my child! Am I eight years old again' I am starting to feel tormented and may seek professional help; although, I'm not sure if that is necessary. From what I've read, many people have these fears. I have never talked about mine before. At least not in such length. And I certainly have never admitted to anyone that I was afraid of the mirror. How silly is that' Still, I am looking for a way to enjoy my new life instead of constantly creating threatening scenarios in my mind, and losing sleep.
Amanda, UK
Like Sarah, I am scared of the dark. As a child I hated the dark but on and off. Since having my baby I too have started to fear the dark. I worry that there is something paranormal (maybe the devil) coming to get me or my child. Although I know that it is not rational thinking I think at the time - how do I really know for sure' During the day I am quite relaxed and wonder why I worried so much the night before, but it can also keep me awake and interfere with my sleep. I have become more nervous when driving, fearing other cars on the roads especially on coming traffic (which is also during the day) fearing an accident although it is not so bad now. I have to check all doors are locked at night and may double check them, just in case. I hate worrying and would like to enjoy life and make the most of it.
Clare, Spain
I'm a 21 year old student. for the past 2 years i've noticed myself going paranoid over simple things like going out for shopping , stationary n stuff. It has become extremely difficult to go out even in a group. Walking alone on the road scares the daylight out of me. i feel extremely uncomfortable to the extent of fear of some unknown force. As if everybody is staring at me and talking about me. that everything, from the way i walk n dress to wat i say or how i say it is being monitored and judged. quite similar to wat others said here if m walking by n somebody laughs i feel they are laughing at me , making fun of me. Sometimes i feel that the security in our campus is investigating me. a few times i feel that i have conveniently forgotten huge parts of my memory.
Liz, Germany
i have thought that the posters on my wall were real and that they laughed at me or thought that i am fat and stupid and that people outside whenever i pass 2 or more people i know they are talking about me i only have to here a laugh or a bit of conversation and i think its about me, its especially worse at this time of year when more people are out and about.