Every time I go out, people stare at me from the elderly to babies. Sometimes people stare so long and hard they don’t realize I’m looking at them. It’s been going on for years but more so in the past 5 years. I attribute it for being in a interracial relationship which people still aren’t adjusted to it I guess. There’re times when I’m without my spouse such as work, a the store, doctor’s office or just out…people stare. I feel like I have dirt on me or something’s wrong with me. It bothers me to the point that I challenge people to a “stare off” or I’ll say something like “What’s your problem?”. Other than my husband, my coworker/friend have been with me when I have a problem with someone staring and she laughs at me and tells me I’m paranoid. My coworker never sees them staring just my outburst. Not only that, I feel like I can’t trust anyone. This includes my husband, my mother and other family and friends/coworkers. I feel like they don’t understand me…I have to repeat myself to get my point across. It makes me aggitated and they tell me I talk so rough and I need to calm down. I get frustrated sometimes when I have to repeat myself. I sense that the people close to me are laughing at me behind my back of who I am and of my faults/failures. The past two weeks, I really felt like I’m in a hole. Maybe this is temporary? I don’t know…
