I have had paranoid feelings for as long as I can remember. I am now 50. I had a very strict religious upbringing and just about everything was a sin according to my parents! This gradually turned me off from religion but as I became a mature adult I am left with paranoid and suspicious feelings. Let me give you an example, one day recently I forgot to put on deodorant after a shower. I became convinced that colleagues at work must have picked this up (nobody said anything!) but I am beside myself that someone might thing I am dirty! (I am actually very presentable!). For most of the time I can convince myself that this is being irrational but anytime I have something to look forward to, the thoughts return and it manages to ruin my evening! Its almost as if I cannot allow myself to enjoy myself or have a good time. This is just one example, I have hundreds of similar experiences that have managed to ruin the best times of my life.
