Voices command me to do things. They say if I don’t, I’ll die. Even if I don’t want to do those ideas. I take my plates of food with me everywhere I go when I eat because I’m afraid that someone’s touched it, or bugs have crawled into the food upon my turning my back. I cannot be out in a large crowd anymore without believing that someone is watching me, following me. Even when I’m walking my little sister to the bus stop, I feel as if a crazy axe murderer will come out of the bushes, or the neighbors will turn on me. Walking on the streets, I have to walk with a hoodie on, & the hood up. It gives me a sense of Security and makes me feel as if I’m safe. When I go to take a shower, I believe that a burgler has snuck into my home and killed my family, and will come back for me. I can’t even get out of bed without being afraid that I’ll be swept underneath it. I feel as if everyone’s waching me when the bus pulls up to my stop. I don’t look up because I’m afraid of meeting eyes with anyone. I realize I must sound insane, but reading other stories helps me realize that I’m not alone. Thanks for that.
