Having gone through an abusive childhood both physical, verbal, mental and sexual I have suffered with severe depression now for over 10 years. Recently, following the break up of my marriage, I have started having paranoid thoughts. I constantly feel that I am being followed when I am driving the car. I have taken alternative routes to evade my followers and on one occasion really believed my abusive parents were following me. At other times it is the Social Services. I constantly have these thoughts and at the time can not justify them, become anxious, panicky and afraid. Only after can I calm down and quantify them. I also have had paranoid thoughts about people coming into my garden, re-arranging the plant pots etc and my home where I have thought someone has been in and moved something. When they are happening I go completely crazy and have even hit myself to make the thoughts go away. Sometimes I feel that I am losing my mind completely. My doctor has now put me on Olanzapine and they are somewhat easier to handle but still frighten me and make me feel confused and violated.
