Im paranoid over a severe panic disorder. When I panic to the “hopeless” stage I think my loved ones are trying to kill me. Even when I moved across the country, and realised that ‘Of course my parents werent trying to kill me! Thats stupid!” I just immediatly shifted the blame and the paranoia to my boyfriend. As if he had been poisoning me to make me sick, despite the year or so of the same symptoms before i moved in with him.

Actually its worse than that. I’m actively getting better (if slowly) and I will still think he’s poisoning me. He is not. I know this right now. I will no longer know this the next time I panic.

Also, dopplegangers. Im paranoid about dopplegangers. Which I dont think are in any way real. Which makes me feel like an idiot.