I was in tears when I started reading these confessions, I never knew that others where having similar thoughts until now. Since I was a child and first was old enough to be left alone at home I’ve been scared and kept a bat behind my door. I would basically roam the house looking in every corner to find I don’t know what. I would eventually start playing with my toys until I heard a noise, then I would stand behind my door with the bat for hours until my parents came home when I would then put on a show that I was fine and didn’t notice that they came home even though I was secretly relieved. I obsessively check behind the shower curtain from either side, during showers or using the restroom, it just seems like such a good place to hide to attack someone. I obsessively check out the front window at home even when I’m not expecting anybody to arrive. I read articles a lot about all the awful things happening in the world and hear stories that haunt me for months, years, and even decades afterwards. I’ve never lived alone, I went from home, to roommates, to a live in relationship. I’m scared of the dark still, but not as much. I worry that everyone is lying to me because I’m so honest. I can’t stand lying and what it does to me, all the things you have to remember to keep up the lie is just too exhausting. I think that everyone at work either loves me and is obsessed with me or hates me and is talking bad about me all the time. I think my superiors steal my creative ideas and parade them as their own. I went to private school and I read a lot, a lot of classic literature as well so I speak differently than those around me and I think they make fun of me because of it. Then I will hear others use my unique turn of phrase that I have said to them at some point and it’s flattering, but annoying. I think everyone picks up mannerisms from those around them, but in this case I feel that they are stealing my identity. I obsess about things I’ve done or said at work and that others always remember them. I feel that all males are constantly undressing me with their eyes and that I’m always on display(definitely that Truman show effect others have mentioned here). Even my boyfriend is always staring at me and making me uncomfortable when I’m getting dressed or taking a shower. I feel that everyone knows who I am and can feel all my secret thoughts so I have to keep them in check. I feel that the USA is a giant conspiracy and that everyone is being controlled by religion and people making and controlling the money. I especially distrust religious people because I feel that their morals come from a fake controlled source and that they would turn into masochists if their leader told them. I feel the same way about these gun toters in Texas, that they may rise up out of ignorance and kill all those who don’t have guns or those who need to have an abortion. I have a knife I carry with me at all times, but I hate guns and am scared of them. I always have to have a dog and have them sleep in the room with me.
