Hi, I am 25 years old and my paranoia started after I was sexually assaulted. I feel self-conscious when people are laughing as if they are personally laughing at me. I feel that people attempt to send subliminal hints to me out of spite within conversations to make me feel inferior and like nothing and make themselves feel powerful and genius. When I ask them if the way that I heard things is what they meant they deny it. I want to trust them but my mind keeps telling me that that is the game that is being played and I have to keep my guard up because I am not stupid and people are attempting to out smart me. As if I can be controlled or kept at a certain level by someone saying something without them directly saying it. As if the game was that someone says something, and I can’t get mad and insult them back because they say that they are just having normal conversation and I am just hearing things the wrong way. I am trying so hard to ignore the impulse to assume and dwell that everything is said to embarrass and or insult me.
